.......Errrr

I LIKE TECHNO AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO SAY IT!!!!!!!!!   

LIVE AFTER 5 IZZLE!!!!!

:-)

I Believe...Well Scratch that...I know...This aint my Full potential, only using 10% of my Mental

Your Everything Man

Make no mistake....there aint no escapin' your destiny....

I'm a hustla, I'm a gangsta, a rebel with the rank of a general, in the battle between God or the Devil.../...I lay claim to ya spirit yo religion and belief system.../I'll do your hit in your kitchen...and your relief pitchin'

The man of your dreams and your nightmares commandin your vision'/ Til it's quite clear like/ light beer,/ yeah I'm standin right here/ I get you hot but stay cooler than the night air /I try to fit it in the same rhyme/But realize, I can't be everything to everyone at the same time!

-Talib-


Damn....is he me? That's crazy how I feel just like that right now....

From Your Head to Your Toes, I Will Love You So!!!

"you are more than a wife thing, see you as a my life thing, need you in my life whenever i'm breathing...."

-eric roberson-

Question: I felt deep love, Like I couldn't be happier. What about you?

Answer: "Whether you are right beside me or far away/ Our love trancends time and space/ no matter where we are/ its always in the right place/ in your heart and mine/ until the end of time..."

-me-

How tall is your Confidence?

Think about this. Let's say you are walking down a sidewalk right...and then you see someone you recognize walking towards you about 60 yards away. Do you A: Look at the person the whole time they are walking towards you with a smile on your face...or B: walk with your head down, looking at the ground until you get right up on each other and then you look up and smile or wave.....be conscious of that the next time you are in the situation. Just call it a self study exercise in confidence gauging. I'm interested in finding out how many people I know that are really confident in themselves and how many think they are confident, but when put to the test they cower just a lil.....

Lee Raye D.'s Big ShaBang...

So it's officially the anniversay of Lee Raye D.'s birth....and yes pretty much all of charlotte is shutting down for the occassion do to her extreme celeb status....yes her is tall popular and well known in the QC. For starters I heard Jagged Edge is performing solely for Lee Raye's enjoyment and him concert is so free, did you hear me? I said him is SOOO FREE!!! Lee Raye just gets love like that....she believe's in her self, she can fly....Then I'm pretty sure Mr. Extreme and Seventeeth Letter (aka mr. outrageous, aka Da Remix, aka Him Q) are gonna take her out to boogie harder than ever before in the history of existence...we gonna boogie til we break something...and then freakin boogie some mo'!!! YaKneedTaKnowwww!!! Dude Carter if you happen to read this homie...i gots to go shopping, but imma keep it bargain cavvy...TJMaxx all da way!! haha we ballin' on a budget roun' here boy boy! Lee Raye D. when you read this, you better be gettin so hype, so motivated, so ridiculous cuz you know all sorts of niggerisms and niggerdom is about to go down in your city tonight!!! Feliz Cumpleaños a Ti Ay yi yi yi yi yi yi yi!!!!!! haha can you tell him is ready to celebrate?

How I Feel Tonight...

FUCK IT....SOMETIMES IT BE LIKE THAT

I WILL SHOW YOU HOW TO EXECUTE MOVESSSS!!! AND RENDER YOUR OPPONENT POWERLESS AND AT YO MERCY!

Pink Toes, Omarion freestyle dancing (Touch!), Dragonfly Jones, EAT IT!!!!, you better drink it!, Iz yall hongry???? (MILK), my lil buddies, Sadness, Happy Face, Niggerdom, Niggerism, Crackerdom, Crackerism (gotta be politically correct ;), RAAAHHHHH!!!!, He is minezez!, Why she wearing dem Man clothes?, Fat Back Meat, Passing out on Fat Back Meat, Mae Mae walkin wit da moochie out!!! Keeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!, sometimes you get lonelyyyyy!!!, Make you mad all the time!!!! Cussed out for no reason!, Chocolaty-ness, Round Face!!!, Fried Apples, Whoopin Lil buddies ass...so quick too!!! Loves IT!!! Not Interested...., Goon, Shoulda Never Gave Yall naggas MOnEY!!!!! Shhhhh dey comin....., Make Way for the Bird!!!!!, Always got your back, Gas please!!! Food in general, Dollar Tree!, No-Neck, Tight Pants, Laughin so hard, When Keepin it real goes Wrong, Train and develop you!!!, mad clerical skillz, Coordinating da Service, CRV, Breakin', Turbo, Mada = Mario, Country as hell, Dave Chapelle (doodly doot da doo, doodly doot da doo, cuz im the black sheep yes da real black sheep)!!! Too big for our britches....Never lose that ambition.....

Only one person in my life will understand every single remark above and know exactly what experience and emotion they apply too. Our bond will never diminish...it will only get Stronger!

lol i even wrote a poem for your crazy but...

emotional rollercoaster, but always down to ride...
overcoming a rough one, conceals a softer side...
doing it solo, determination and pride...
smiles contagious, laughter never subsides...
don't lose patience, love HE will provide...
permanent shelter, in my heart you reside...

Melancholy Days...

You ever have those days when you really don't do anything but chill and reflect? Emotions are on an even keel....
(on an even keel: in a state of balance; steady; steadily....)

Today I'm in one of those melancholy moods and I'm analyzing every aspect of my life from childhood to present all at the same time and every thing is so jumbled, a blur, but so in order and clear as well. Nah' mean? Thinking about all the troubles and struggles that I've experienced and dealt with. Wondering why I made certain decisions at certain times, with sometimes no guidance or precedence and sometimes too much guidance and outside influence. Then I look around and I'm in awe at what I have accomplished thus far in my young life. I think what I'm most proud of is having the respect of my younger brother and sister as not just a big brother, but a friend, confidant, mentor, and not a role model. Yes that's right I'm proud of not being a role model for them, b/c I want them to be their own individuals and mold their own lives without trying to follow in my foot steps...I couldn't be more amazed or excited about the adults they are becoming...their potential has no limit. Then my own self criticism kicks in and instead of being comfortable and content with my current situation (which most people tell me I should be) I get frustrated and anxious....wanting more out of my life....more success, more happiness, more balance, more drive, more love, more, more, more....complacency is a word my character has long forgotten. So I ask myself, "what's next?" How can I get more out of my days? How can I improve every aspect of my life? The answers elude me but I do feel like by some act of a higher power, call it destiny, fate, my own will power...I'm Goapele'n....(gettin' closer to my dreams). So i discuss visions of my future with my friends, with myself...hoping and praying that the life i want for myself isnt just some illusion of grandeur...but i guess the only way to make sure of that is to put that work in and go get it.
Melancholy days man....reflection is self education......even though nothing seems to make sense....I guess I'll take it one day at a time and try not to let myself down....

index and the middle...

Dance...

Freedom in motion...that's what dancing is. Confidence displayed kenisthetically. I need space, a good vibe from the crowd, passionate dj, two vodka pineapples (grey goose or level only), a towel and it's going down!!!!
Eyes closed, feet moving, head swaying, arms in the air....I mean really feelin' it, that's how I like to do it and how I like to see it done. Not being afraid or embarassed to let your body do what the music tells it too and have other people watch you. It's so instinctive, natural, when it flows from within....
Sometimes I dance so hard I can't help but swear, like "Motha Fucka, I'm bout to boogey all night!" or "Damn, I'm feelin' so right, foot work bout to be crucial tonight!!!" Sometimes thuggin out, crippin walkin and jiggin, sometimes freestyle, poppin and lockin..that's when they call me Mr. Wiggles, sometimes suave, salsa, merengue and bachata and sometimes electronic, bouncing, spinning, mostly sweatin'. When the spot is extra cavvy it's two steppin all da way.
There are no rules or regulations or formal introductions. No confusion or awkwardness. Just you, the music, and the dance floor....it puts you in touch with your true self. I challenge you to go out one night, by yourself, no intentions of flirting in the club with him or her, or sitting off to the side, watching and laughing at other people, but find your own lil space on the floor say "F*ck It! and express all the emotions you've felt or had pent up all day, week, month, or year in the form of dance. Who knows, you might even have a lil bit of real fun for a change...and if you see me partyin so hard and slidin all the over the place like I'm known to do...throw up the index and the middle ahight?!

Meaning of Friendship

born of different mothers...

same blood in our souls...

destiny birthed these brothers

we fill each others holes....

Translation...

We couldn't help where we were born, who are biological parents were or what environment would shape our lives. We did have control over how we let those factors influence the decisions we made, our opinions on different ideals, and the paths we chose to follow on our quest to become men. As fate would have it, our paths crossed and we found that despite our past, our present and future would not exist without each other and the bond that connected us instantly. The same passion, motivation, confidence, loyalty, honesty, humor, vision, and love coursed through every molecule of our being. Our love and respect for each other outgrew the limits of friendship and transcended into a spiritual brotherhood. We don't have to ask each other questions because we know what the other is thinking, we don't have to act individually because we progress collectively. No matter where we are, some how we are always together...we all have individual flaws but as a team we strive for perfection...we complete each other....and that's why our definition of friendship = brotherhood.

your thoughts????

You My Girlfriend Cuz Facebook Says So! (please confirm)

You know what I really hate?!!! Why do people let facebook determine the status of their relationships with other people??? Hahaha...it's the craziest notion to think that in order to validate your real life association with another living person it must be first added, posted, applied, commented, and confirmed on facebook!!! Don't get me wrong, I love the new chat feature, but people please understand that it is the INTERNET!!!! Not a living breathing organism (though i'm sure some mistake it for being so). Don't take it so seriously and so literally...and why do people have like 2,000 friends that span across an international network of about 50 different regions, states, countries, planets? Do you really know that many people? Do you even know where Kosovo or Shanghai is on a map??? How in the world do you have friends there then? LOL...i know, i know "Hate, Hate, Hate" but oh well......Imma tell you why I'm mad son!!! :)

My attempts at linguistic expression....

"New Outlook"

I feel like i`ve lost my creativity, lately.
mainly, the cause is complacency.
more plainly i blame me for my more recent acts of irresponsibility.
the direct cause of my immobility physically and mentality.
i must quickly regain my vitality, and transcend the negative aspects of reality.
because self-pity can easily act on one deconstructively.
refusing to fall victim to such a common fallacy, patiently, i anticipate my destiny. imaginatively... Courageously!

"A thought I had in class about love"

Thinking of you...a privilege...an addiction
a fantasy spawned from non-fiction,
also.known.as. An enchanting truth.
the vigor, the lust, the love of youth.

"My idea of chillin"

a weekend of nothing, but chillin
an idea, a state of being called relaxin` - I was caressin`,
lazy`s contagent - I admit I was infected.
so all 48 hours I defected.
Not runnin` from life but hiding for a little while....

"Runnin"

runnin man...I m runnin from all my problems all my fears,
runnin man...runnin, but I can`t out run the tears,
I run, they stream down my cheeks like waterfalls of emotion...runnin man,
I'm runnin from those decisions that make you or break you, I m scared, I m runnin
cuz there's no tellin where those choices made may take you...so I m runnin man,
from the world, from myself, I m runnin, there`s no security in standin still,
somewhere I lost it so man I m runnin, runnin...maybe I ll catch up with my will,
to stand steadfast, halt my expanding tracks,
to set myself apart from others who only have wind at their backs,
but for now I m part of the mass, so I m runnin,
man I m runnin, so damn fast!
mentally exhausted...I just keep on runnin...

"I'll be that"

can I draw u a letter, maybe write u a picture,
be the soluble difference in your heterogeneous mixture,
can I scratch your back, even tickle your tummy,
can I be your oo-la-la, your yum-yummy,
maybe I can be the pappi preservation that wraps you mummy,
can I be the knight after your day?
I can be your illumination in shining armor showing you the way.
Can I be the road you travel?
I wanna be your path made of soft gravel.
can I be the dy dx in your double integration?
I could be the m-u in your sudden stim-ulation.
can I..can I, be the check-mate to your queen soul?
can I...can I be the piece of the puzzle making us both whole...
can I?

"Broken"

my life revolves like a broken record, broken record.
was designed to play out beautifully, without missing a note,
but unfortunately its laden with scratches and chips,
so early in my life song the record started to skip, to skip, to skip...
so at times i feel as if i'm missing those things that make your soul complete
and granted i know my sad song isn't entirely unique,
but the pain and gloomy thoughts i alone must endure
and as i struggle to keep my song, my life, fulfilling and pure
i can't help but to shed internal tears
cuz my song is on a broken record and it seems as if the only notes that fully play out contain my
darkest fears...

"My Life"

all these trials and tribulations, do little to express the internal stress that I m facin`,
so I m steadily pacin`, heart steadily racin` and my minds lost all concentration
on the future goals that I must attain.
just to make it day to day,on my body its such a strain,
oh somebody get a doctor, maybe he can ease the pain,
it's suffocatin`, am I hillucinatin`,
distorted thoughts comin down like rain, they pourin,
my blood pressure not down, caught up with life s wind it s soarin.
wrote all this cuz nights are frustratingly borin`,
and the chaos that surrounds me, like females with no class, I just keep ignorin.
while the haters deeply sleeping on da king, who is I,
in the end i`ll doall the snorin`.
cuz i`m brilliantly put together, enduring all the stormy weather.
illogically i cease to exist, i can`t die!!!

"Lost and Found"

a love not found, lying on the ground...
stepped on by feet who`s souls are incomplete...
tossed in the air by ones who don`t care...
floating back to earth hoping for a rebirth...
into the arms of some who appreciate...
what a significant change love can make...
by opening eyes...a new way of seeing...
infatuated hearts...a new way of being...
picking love up off the ground...
catching fallen love...
look now it`s safe and sound...
in the arms of those who appreciate...
what a significant change love can make!

"Imagination"

far away skies and endless seas...
to intangible fantasies a restless soul flees...
an attempted escape from monotony`s cape.

"Getting to know Beauty...(she knows who she is)"

I didn't know beauty had a sound, until I heard your voice. linguistic trance
I didn't know beauty had a color, until I saw your complexion. flirtatious glance
I didn't know beauty had a feel, until I held your hand. exploratory palpation
I didn't know beauty had an aroma, until I breathed in your fragrance. intoxicating sensation
I didn't know beauty had a flavor, until I tasted your kiss. sunshine delight
I didn't know beauty had a name, until my soul whispered yours in a dream. perfect night